STEAK AND ESPRESSO MARTINIS

Lily Stevens

 

I sometimes force myself

To pretend I’ve ever been in love,

Imagine a date we might have had

To get me through the day.

 

You would book my favourite steak restaurant

And we’d make a cheers to love to company to life,

To not being alone anymore.

I would cherish every bite.

 

I would savour the salt on my tongue,

White wine that lingers on my lips,

Espresso martini at the end of the night,

Kiss with coffee-stained teeth.

 

I always flinch back to reality,

Try to sink back into my daydream.

But the tears drip gently one by one,

I was convinced I could still taste the salt.

 

Mascara runs down my colourless cheeks

As bitterness gorges on me.

I gulp my cheap wine,

Gag as the coffee scent lingers.

 

I was still alone craving something anything

To not be alone,

I want to be loved,

All I want is to be loved.

 

I want to be loved so much that my skin clears,

I want my teeth to whiten and smile lines form,

I want my stomach to rumble too excited to eat a meal,

I want all of it god I am just so desperate to be loved.