GERA KAVA

Andrew Bennett

Few things in the world bring more joy than a cup of freshly made, steaming hot coffee. That’s the case for Charlie, at least. He’d started to frequent the coffee shop just down the road from where he works, and he couldn’t be happier. All the pastries are baked in-house and taste amazing, and the lattes are delicious. That said, nothing could be more delicious than the Lithuanian barista who runs the shop every weekday in the mornings. Charlie would always watch her in absolute awe, as her well-manicured hands prepared his morning coffee. He’d nearly swoon when her luscious blonde hair swayed from side to side as she turned from the till to the coffee machine.
          Until now, he’d made several attempts to catch her attention. None had been successful. Who on Earth would’ve guessed she was there to serve coffee and not to entertain the advances of a desperate man? Maybe she already had a boyfriend? Nonsense, she’d be better off with Charlie.
          She doesn’t know Charlie found out she’s Lithuanian. He doesn’t think so, anyway. He thought he’d try to surprise her by showing up one morning wearing a yellow dress shirt, green trousers and dark red shoes. He expected her to be impressed by a man dressed as her national flag – not the case, it seems.
          It was time for his final attempt – to try learning one of the oldest languages in the world. He thought he’d done an excellent job. With all the confidence in the world, he marched into the coffee shop calling out the only phrase he’d managed to learn. That same confidence was shattered after being drenched in the cappuccino he’d had hurled at him. He found this reaction to be very unreasonable, for any Lithuanian lady should be overwhelmed with joy to have a foreigner call her a name as endearing as seksuali kalyte.