THE COUPLE’S PROJECT

Charlotte Crammond

A knock on the other side of the bathroom door brought her out of her stupor. Fiona watched as the rusted handle started to jiggle. A grating noise made with every movement. She was glad for the lock that was in place.
        Sitting on the lid of the awful green toilet, a colour closer to snot than the olive-green David protested it to be, Fiona listened as knocks sounded one after another. The next knock was accompanied with a flash of lightning from the window.
        Fiona and David’s bathroom was disconnected: from uncoordinated colour schemes to incohesive textures on the walls. On the bathroom sink, a soap dish was in the form of a yellow rubber duck. The furry brown holder for the toilet brush was positioned next to the bath. A decision to design it together had turned into David overruling all her design proposals. The suggestion of ‘a fun couples project’ to avoid the extortionate prices painters and decorators charged had cost them tenfold.
        ‘Fi, what are you doing in there? We don’t have time for this! There’s a storm on the way; it’s going to make us late if we don’t leave now.’
        She could just imagine David’s face, forehead screwed, eyebrows pinched together. Pushing herself up, she unlocked the door.
        ‘Finally! Let’s go!’ He pushed off from the place he’d positioned himself and started to zip up his coat.
        ‘I need to tell you something.’ Fiona was surprised at the calmness in her voice.
        ‘Fine, tell me on the way.’ He turned to leave.
        ‘I’m not going, David.’ She fortified her voice, but thunder roared outside.
        ‘This has been booked for months, Fiona. Everything will be fine, don’t be nervous.’
        ‘I’m not doing IVF.’
        ‘Of course you are, how else are we going to have a child? Don’t make me feel ashamed because of something I can’t give you.’
        ‘You were never going to get me pregnant David because I never stopped taking the pill.’